I just got my Entertainment Weekly, and there it is. Alice In Wonderland. March 5 2010. Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. How freaking cool is that? Alice in Wonderland has to be one of my favorite "kiddie into adult" obsessions, and Johnny Depp has definitely been there from childhood on as well. From Cry Baby to Edward Scissorhands, What's Eating Gilbert Grape to Capt Jack Sparrow, and now John Dillinger to the Mad Hatter, Depp's always been able to dangle on the edge of fantasy and reel it back in to give stellar performances as the "normal" guy. It's amazing the number of movies this man has been in and the range he displays. I don't care what anyone says, hands down best actor of our generation.
My Top 5 Fav Johnny Depp Movies:
5.)Pirates of the Caribbean - All of them. They get a little darker each time, and the movies themselves lose my fan fav as they go along, but Depp's performance in all are outstanding.
4.)Finding Neverland - Again, another of my greatest loves from childhood, Peter Pan. The movie wasn't at all what I expected, but I was assuredly not disappointed.
3.)Don Juan Demarco - One of the first movies I saw him in so it has to stand as a fav 2.)Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Depp's playing an amazing writer, alongside another amazing actor, Benicio del Toro, for an amazing ride. What a long strange trip it's been. 1.)What's Eating Gilbert Grape - I still remember the first time I saw this movie. Juliette Lewis says to him something about Beauty fading and We all get old and it's what's on the Inside that counts. I remember watching that and it clicking-didn't really matter how hard you try to look good, there will always be someone skinnier or prettier out there. And that was ok. But it was what's on the inside that counts. And Johnny Depp totally fell for her so I should work on my inside. Keep in mind, I was 11 when this movie came out. It seemed pretty prolific at the time, given the fact I was in junior high, a time when self doubt and critique is at an all time high. I think that movie really set the pace for the way I would think as time went on. Because if she felt that way, and she was able to get Johnny Depp's character, I'd surely find my own somewhere down the line =)
A bit of dust, a dash of mothballs, and a hint of memory lane. Something from the past. Please be forewarned: If you are trying to take any bit of knowledge of anything other than what a clown I was (ok who am I kidding...Still am....) step away. If you have no sense of humor, click your back button and go back to Twitter and find someone else to tweet. And if you are my dad, well...I apologize for anything I am about to incriminate myself with here in the next few lines.
Part I Teen Angst
This first bit has been edited for content, and I have to say, I crack up reading it as I have no idea who half the people I refer to are. Including the "hottest guy I've ever seen." Really. Absolutely no recollection. Eh. I was 15.
Dec 1 1997. Life in the Fast Lane. Last year that was the story of my life. The more things change, the more they stay the same, obviously. Me and Boy Wonder1 broke up a week ago. Effed2 if I cared. I hate school. I like this guy, but I think he thinks I want to flat out go out with him, like the Junior High s***. I wanna date him. I wanna date a lot of people. One of them, Batman3 has a girlfriend and goes to Gotham City4 He wants to go out with me this weekend. The other is this HOTTIE (the hottest guy I've ever seen!!) and he has a girlfriend. When I say date, I mean like, go out, have fun, no worries. No one seems to want that. Superman (that's the guy's name, he's in my driver's ed class) is from Smallville5 and is cool as eff. Hi sgirlfriend is pretty but, eff, so am I. I no longer have such low self-esteem 26 year old Ramble's note: No, 15 year old Ramble, obviously that wasn't an issue. No longer do I crave the sympathy trips. Eff all I crave is excitement. And some new blood ok, 26 year old interjecting once more. For the record, I write a LOT about vampires now, I realize that, it's the craze....but for the record, I meant new blood figuratively. I'm not goth and never was. Nothing wrong with that, just wanted the reader to have a clear visual It's only December and I'm already sick of school hard core again.I'm effed too cause I haven't been doing s*** on my homework. Eff, why does Metropolis6 have to be so damn boring? I need guys from other schools that's all there is to it!!! December 16 1997 What's the point of doing home work when you're damned to flunk the class because of stupid teachers. Eff it. Ten years from now, I'll be somewhere besides that crummy little school of Metropolis High. yes, somewhere far far away, like down the street 2 1/2 years left. Yuck. 5 days till Christmas break. Watched Con Air tonite. Great movie.
Footnotes 1 Obviously his name wasn't Boy Wonder, but you prolly already figured that one out. Right? 2 "Effed" wasn't popular when I was in high school. Apparently, the traditional version was. I used it quite a bit. Got that one, too, didn't ya? Apparently over-dramatization was my thing, too. "Life in the Fast Lane" really? I don't know who I was kidding. 3-6 Yeah. I'm a comic book geek. Wanna fight? I'll eff you up.
Very rarely do I watch a movie before reading the book. To most, that's the criminal, as the movie's usually fall incredibly short of the book's impact,or so far off base it's merely an echo of the novel. Of course, I gotta be different. Personally, I think I'm a bigger fan of Twilight because I read the books first. Otherwise, the movie would have come off as mere teen angst. Instead, it was a shining reflection of something much deeper that lay 'twixt the pages of Stephenie's work of genius. But I digress....
....For the first time in a long time I watched a movie before I read the book. Yes, I know, I am a perfect candidate to read He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Shockingly, no I haven't read it. I will tell you though, I started the movie with so much head nodding I had to pop some Aleve when it was over. I love fiction as much as the next, but who doesn't love that feeling of attachment you have the the protagonist? That "Everyman" (or woman) vibe...It's you, it's your sister, it's your friend, it's your coworker. Refreshing. And so true. I'm a big fan of realism in my romantic-comedies. I know, that's not what they're made for, but it's unexpected. They should do it more often. I totally felt promise,
We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.
This came at the beginning of the movie, with the little girl being told by the boy she likes (circa age 5) that she smells like dog poo. (Who HASN'T been there right? Well, Ok no one ever told me I smelled like dog poo, but I remember in 3rd grade being asked by a boy why I killed my hair. Mom thought it was a good idea to get a perm (it wasn't) and when I went home and cried, my mom's response was the same as Gigi's: he's mean to you...because he likes you. Yes! We are programmed at a very young age to allow this abuse!!! This is followed by a montage of girlfriends rapping over guys, girl A filling the others in with some sad excuse the guy gives her, while girl (s) B-Z come up with ever excuse under the sun for his excuse, insisting to friend A that said guy will call. We globe trot a bit in this scene, from here to Asia to Africa:
I'm sure he just forgot your hut number! Or was eaten by a lion!
From this point on, the grown up girl narrator Gigi (dog poo girl) begins to create a nervous friction in me. Biting my nails and Ramblings in my head: Is she really thinking of showing up there just because he said he hangs out there? Nothing like looking desperate. No, don't call him AGAIN. Oh, oh no, reading waaaay to far into that. Oh, no, he invited you to the party, not to get married! However, it was real. I've seen girls act like that. Reality. Love it. Of course, I've never acted like that or anything. Of course. ahem.
And then, after throwing herself at the guy who'd taught her everything she knew about being "just not that into" her, she says it....
I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are
And that's when it all came back to that warm fuzzy you-know-this-is turning around. Which, I can't lie, maybe I'm too much LIKE Alex, I hate. I was really hoping for more of a "realistic" ending. Nope. Of course her little "speech" worked, made him realize that he's really THAT into her, and starts to take on her obsessive behavior trying to win her back. And he does. Of course.
Ah, but not to be entirely disappointed (I am such a cynic, I know) Janine and Ben don't have the happy ending. And, Ben doesn't get to have his cake and eat it to, as Anna leaves him. He didn't want to be married, but wasn't man enough to tell her when she gave him the ultimatum (Yeah, who really wants to get married that way anyway??) that he wasn't ready, so enter Anna, the hot chick at the grocery store that has that "this is what I'm missing out on" allure. So the affair begins, and ends after he blurts it out to Janine in the middle of Home Depot that he slept with someone else. Instead of leaving him, she tried to "surprise" him at the office with a little afternoon delight. Little does she know Anna's shoved in the closet and gets to listen to her boyfriend screw his wife. That Jerk! So, she leaves him. For good. Wifey sticks around till she has that "snap" moment finding a pack of cigarettes (She KNEW he was smoking. Because that was the worst thing he was doing...right) And that was the straw that broke the camel(and the mirror's) back. Never missing an OCD beat, she neatly folds every towel, washcloth and sock, matches every shoe with it's mate, and lines it all up for him with a carton of smokes on top with a simple note "I WANT A DIVORCE" Now THAT was reality. The movie was had come full circle and I was in full head-nodding agreement once more as Gigi narrated more truth:
Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
Aw. Maybe I hadn't given Gigi enough credit. Maybe I was seeing too much of myself in her, and when she got the happy ending felt cheated, because, thus far that hasn't been my truth. Mine's not quite Janine's either, but it's my own. And I agree with Gigi completely that the happy ending doesn't always include a guy....I was thrilled that a movie could end with a positive spin on that thought for once. Closing in on 30 in a few short years, and turning into Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses, it's very refreshing for a character like Janine and even Anna to come out headstrong and on top, while Ben doesn't get either and merely looks like a slimeball in the end. Sorry Ben, they just weren't that into you.
Ok....So I got to thinking, that's not entirely fair. Without further adieu, here's Sookie's moment ***Warning: If you only watch True Blood and haven't read all the books, this may be considered a spoiler. However, with the creative liberty the writers of the show take, I could be way off =) ***
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